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saidso
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Member Since: Oct 2018
Location: Europe & UK
Posts: 575
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Default Jan 01, 2019 at 12:33 PM
 
I don't know whether to post on her Knitchick or to start another thread. I'll try here. I've made a rule for myself after years of forcing myself to do things, workaholic stuff. If it's not an emergency, then I need to sit quietly with my self until I want to do it. Because wanting to do something means that I'm ready for a connection to that person/people to that task etc.

I guess this comes from doing a lot of meditation/ martial arts type stuff that emphasises relaxed action.

BUT here I am today and I need to get up very early tomorrow (if it's not raining) to burn some hedge clippings. I can't afford to pay for them to be collected like my neighbours do and since I have no car and almost never use airplanes I'm not going to get manipluated by the eco-brigade. I spread the potash ashes on my vegetable patch.

However in winter here getting up early means that it's still night... I need to do the bonfire so as to clear out my garage. Usually I'm ok about tidying, but I haven't been ok about getting up early this winter.

Might have to go back to the old habits of forcing it, set alarm, put warm clothes over my pjs.

This probably has no relevance to anyone here on this thread or PC. It's a way that I work with myself in absence of good therapy. Main reason for writing here is that often the distancing effect of "getting it out there" enables cogs to get freed up and to whir round internally.

The "connection" thing because it is changing how I hold boundaries in myself and with other people quite a lot. I never had time or space in my life to explore this previously.

Def not hijacking your thread Knitchick and hoping that the kniting group goes on being a way out into the world for you! You sound like you put some effort into finding the right one for you.

Saidso
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