Hello Raging Vortex. Thank you for sharing your truth. That takes strength and courage. Here's a flip for you:

"I feel disillusioned about my life right now but disillusionment is useful and powerful because it takes me one step closer to the truth. I am one step closer to the life I desire.
I am still alive and therefore have the gift of more time to find my path to peace and joy. Last year, it felt like the days were just passing me by but this year will be different because I am going to choose a life of intention. I will choose a few things in my life which I'm not happy with, write them down, and then start thinking of possible ways to change those things. I can also ask others for ideas and support. I am not alone.
In the last 15 years, I have been living with depression but I was not depressed every moment of every day and night. There are things I enjoyed such as......(your list, big or small) and I will be sure to do more of these things this year.
Sometimes it feels as though I have accomplished nothing but I have actually done many things including making new friends on PC and....(your list, anything at all).
The last 15 years have made me a stronger and kinder person. I care about the suffering of others because I know what if feels like to suffer.
I know I want things in my life to change. I know I need to start actively trying a new approach. Being happy takes practice just like any new or unfamiliar skill. I am going to work on my "happiness skills." And I also know that real and important change occurs slowly over time so I will be patient and loving with myself. 2019 will be better than 2018 because I have decided it will be so. I am trying a new path."