Is this stuff related to my bpd and depression or is it because I'm a bad lazy piece of **** ?

I have insomnia
I have no energy
I can barely function ie self care or doing anything productive
I am impulsive with spending
I have agoraphobia and social phobia
These random thoughts pop into my head telling me bad things . usually telling me bad things about myself and sometomes telling me to hurt people ( don't judge me , these are not thoughts i choose or listen to or want going round in my head )
I constantly worry and analyze everything to the point of paranoia
Sometimes i snap and the people i love the most which follows by immense guilt and self hatred and then i apologize
Does any of this sound familiar or make any sense to anyone ? Does it sound like bpd?
Im confused . i have no self asteem .
Nobody likes me and im alone and isolated .
This is not a life worth living . i often feel suicidal . i have self harmed but not recently
Im scared of confrontations
I think i know what people are tginking about me