Hello YongSun: I believe this is your second thread here on PC. The first, as I recall, was in the Women-Focused Support forum. (As a guy, I'm not allowed there.) So anyway... I'd like to take this opportunity to say welcome to Psych Central.

I'm sorry I doubt there is a lot I can offer with regard to the concerns you mentioned in your post. We, here on PC, cannot offer mental health diagnoses, as you probably know. Plus I'm not a mental health professional. So I would not be able to suggest anything with regard to what the experiences you describe might point toward. I tend to have a lot of self talk going on in my head all the time. And it's not unusual for me to suddenly, & involuntarily, begin saying what I'm thinking about out loud. (It can sometimes be a bit embarrassing.) In my case, I tend to struggle with a lot of generalized anxiety. And I suspect the things I do are perhaps related to that.

In order for you to figure out what is causing you to do the things you're concerned about, I suspect you may need to consult a mental health professional... perhaps a therapist, a psychologist or psychiatrist. I noted you closed your post by writing you're really worried right now. One thing I believe is that worry & anxiety tend to feed on themselves. You begin to worry about something & then you start to worry about the fact you're worried. It can become a vicious circle, so to speak. And all of this worry, plus its accompanying anxiety & stress, just tends to make the things you were worried about to begin with worse. So I do believe it is important to, in one way or another, come to some understanding with regard to what's going on with you so that you can put your mind at rest & calm your worry. Perhaps being here on PC can be helpful with that. But, in addition, hopefully there will be someone you can talk to in real life as well. My best wishes to you...