For me a lack of structure from the therapist is good, because I prefer to control my sessions. I make fun of my therapist when he asks me a direct question, especially if requires me giving up any specific facts I haven't openly shared. But there are therapists out there that will structure the heck out of a session or its content, look for someone very gun ho about CBT. You get homework and work sheets and maybe some useful skills in there.

But it *sounds* like you are "facing" things right now, such as self harm and dissociation. But what is it that you want to see, what is it that you are wanting to "face" or where is it that you want to go?

After three years, I would want to feel comfortable enough to say to my therapist what you said here. I'm not facing anything and don't feel I'm getting anywhere. Can we have a discussion about this? I think you'd need to have this discussion even with a new therapist so they understand what you're after.