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BWBorealis
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Member Since: Dec 2018
Location: Middle East
Posts: 31
5 yr Member
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Default Jan 06, 2019 at 10:48 AM
 
i think that this was a trigger for her in some way that basically invalidated her sense of self worth and security. It may have been interpreted as, she is less valuable than the 20 pounds and that she, as a whole, is worthless so in turn to try and cope with that painful feeling she went into an attack mode to try and elicit reassurance from and a response from you, albeit aggressively, that she is actually more valuable than the money.. Because people with BPD generally have humongous issues with communicating emotions well, instead of asking you and telling you that i feel hurt and i feel like i am not valuable to you it ends up being communicated with aggression, other times it can be communicated by a complete withdrawal from the from the situation etc.

That how i see it.

You could try and validate her by stating that you value her and that nothing in that situation was and is a reflection of her self worth to you. I'm not sure how you could do that smoothly but it not an easy feat.

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"The world history of emotions: not to pay attention is not to be immune"
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