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Old 01-06-2019, 11:19 AM
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Default Re: Integration

Originally Posted by Betty_Banana View Post
I could really relate to this.

It took awhile for me to adjust to feeling so intensely.Everything felt so overwhelmingly intense.If I was happy,I felt euphoric,if I was sad I felt so deeply sad that I couldn't handle it,etc.There were times I scheduled emergency therapy sessions just to get help in dealing with it. It was way different being able to completely feel,to completely experience something and stay with it without dissociating.Even the love I had for others felt so intense it would make me cry.

It took time but I gradually did adjust.I do still have times though where I experience something for the first time since integration and feel overwhelmed still.But it' s not scary anymore really,just different.

ETA:yes,some things ARE scary(even though I said it's not scary,just different)and hard to deal with and at times I get upset about it and even complain.But as my therapist had told me once,the bad thing about dissociating was I was missing out on the good things in life too,not just the bad.So I think feeling everything,good and bad is much better than before integration.
yes it does take time to adjust to being able to feel a full range of emotions, and my therapist told me the same thing about missing out on life and living one time when I told her it was so much easier back when I didnt have the skills that I have...

by the way for those waiting for the next installment / post/ thread of my integration process I have been purposely not posting....

one I want to give you all time to adjust to the fact that there are integration threads mixed in here on this board.

two I want to give you all a chance to adjust to everything I have already posted. I know its a lot of information and personal experiences, stuff you could not find elsewhere before I started posting about my dissociation/ integration process, and believe me I've done them all.... Yahoo groups, Facebook Groups, not yahoo groups, NAMI, healthjourneys, melting minds, ivory garden, survivors forum, and not on any of the other sites where dissociation issues are discussed that I am or have been a member of, not even on popular information sites like ISSTD and others...

Mind you I am not trying to plug these sites for people to go to, just stating a fact that I have searched for many many years in all kinds of forums and information sites and could not find anything that goes beyond the typically found everywhere information.

my point is what Im posting is stuff that cant be found elsewhere except from going through it. And theres more to come So I dont want to overwhelm any one.

I Also want to give others a change to start their own threads on integration and integration issues. everyone says they want more discussions about this but I seem to be the only one making threads and posts about it.

put bluntly if you want more discussions about this then you need to post about it yourselves too.
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