I'm convinced now I have bipolar disorder triggered by the light therapy and antidepressants. The worst of it subsided now that I stopped the light therapy today. I wrote out notes to give the therapist. I see my psychiatrist in a couple weeks.

It is like rage and it's happened for years now but I couldn't figure out it might be defined as mania until I got so disturbed about it finally. I was confused for years about the definition of mania and bipolar disorder.

Tonight I'm upset about how I've suffered from this for years now and tried to get treatment but they hopelessly did the wrong thing. In around 2015 one doctor wanted to double up antipsychotics for the way I tried to describe the problem, and his supervisor instead doubled up antidepressants by adding Wellbutrin to Lexapro. Well this is the wrong thing in the biggest way because antidepressants are what I'm sure now are triggering it.

I'm relieved now to see other people have rage and hostility and I'm not the only one.

I want to try a mood stabilizer.