Thx friends, I appreciate the kind words of support and the offering of your own examples. It suggests I am not alone.

In reply to AB2371 (I found your post very articulate), my life outside of work is actually pretty good. If there does exist an issue it is that the anxiety has robbed me of enjoying my life beyond the workplace. It is a struggle for my common law husband. He is doing his best to be supportive. WHile he may not understand the fear he sees me going through he does understand that anxiety will permeate everything else. You also asked if there is anyone I can approach - coworker or leadership. I have already tried this. A big source of the problem is that leadership of my small department doesn't get involved much; we are on our own fending for ourselves. The other issue is that the other staff in this department have been a group for years and years. Consequently they are very cliquey and I am doing my darnedest to break into the fold. They are intimidating and completely unsupportive; hence their snippy and terse replies when I ask for help or question something. As for leadership I once did approach them about this problem of feeling an outsider and feeling intimidated by several in particular. What did that person do? They told one of these people who responded by giving me royal crap for ratting on them - in front of customers no less. When I again approached the supervisor she laughed about it all and admitted telling the coworker about it.

As for the comment that I try to avoid customers I cannot do so. It is my very main duty of employment to engage them all.