It sucks for sure, the weird thing for me, it has come after he left.

Since I speak to you off PC, I feel it's ok to say this, but could this possibly have to do with something in your marriage? I know you've expressed issues there before, could you and your H consider couples therapy as well? Not sure if it would help but it if it was related to that, I figure it might be worth a shot

Sadly, I've no idea what to say, other than to try and remind yourself how he has helped you and that you are both married and in this type of relationship. Sorry that you are feeling this way, I know he's been helpful for you so I can't imagine how hard this is.