For Summer--I assume you're worried that you're developing romantic feelings along with the sexual? I agree they can be really hard to deal with, as I ultimately had some of those for my ex-marriage counselor, along with paternal transference and some sexual feelings. It was all very confusing in my head. I'd just suggest being careful in talking about romantic feelings, if that's what they are. The paternal stuff (including love feelings) were fine, and he was completely accepting of them. But when he sensed romantic love in my "I love you so much" email, that's when things shifted. (And he eventually confirmed that's why he suddenly put up more boundaries.)

Some T's can completely handle those feelings, and yours might be great with it. But it can just be a sensitive area. It might be better to try to frame it more as erotic transference. Or is it possible there's paternal stuff in there, too? It can make things feel really intense, because it's about unmet childhood needs. (I know it might seem weird if that's there along with sexual stuff, but from what I've been told, it's not that uncommon. Like how kids often fall in love with a parent.)


I am in general in favor of talking about things like that, or they can build up more. Just saying to be careful in talking about it with him. Talk about it here all you want!