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Old 01-07-2019, 02:52 PM
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Member Since: Oct 2015
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Smile Re: Straight Cis Female dating Trans Lesbian

I'm probably not the best member, here on PC, to be replying to your post. But I noticed no one else has yet. So I thought I would. (Hopefully there will yet be some other members who will yet reply.) From my perspective, I don't know if this is really a transgender question so much as it is a relationships question. But perhaps that's just me.

From what you wrote, it sounds as though there are simply a whole lot of things going on with your friend... to say nothing of her ex. I don't think I myself could say if you did anything to hurt your friend's feelings. I'd need to know a lot more about what actually occurred between the two of you... probably more than it would be practical to write in a post here on PC. Based on what you wrote though it sounds like you did your best, under complicated circumstances, to be a good friend.

Personally I doubt your being cis-gendered had a lot to do with how things have worked out. I suppose it's possible since your friend is transgender & lesbian, & her ex is presumably lesbian, the fact that you're cis-gendered simply meant that there are life experiences, emotions & assumptions LGBTQ people would naturally share that you could not. And that being the case, it would perhaps make sense that your friend would return to her ex. There's really nothing you could do about that. It's simply a matter of you & your friend having grown up in different worlds so to speak.

The one thing I think I know for sure is that we can never know what's really going on in another person's mind. So, in the end, the best we can sometimes do is to watch & see where they walk, so to speak, allow them the freedom to do so & be there for them to the extent they will allow should the opportunity arise. That's about what I think I can say. My best wishes to you...
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