I'm so sorry, WishfulThinker66 I can definitely relate to what you wrote. I have problems standing up for myself as well. It's hard to deal with. I think a way to cope with it would be to drop some hints without being too explicit. You could try to say that the hair looked different from what you expected, for example. It's not easy and it doesn't always work, but it could be a start. I think it's important to do some exercise in that regard, for our own well-being. Also if you're having problems with your mother, maybe it would be good to work on them as well. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. Please don't give up, standing up for ourselves is hard but it can be done. Remember that you're not alone in this. Sending many hugs to you