You said you tried hard to change the reality. So maybe you are experiencing despair at this point. But I think you should give yourself a credit for:

1). Putting forth an effort to make changes in your life. Some people with self-pity are full of excuses for not doing anything with their life.

2). Being able to see your issue with clarity and be honest with yourself. Self-pity is not an easy thing for someone to admit to.

I hope things turn out better for you. In the mean time, maybe try a gratitude journal. You can start out with one thing you are thankful for today.