Quote:
Originally Posted by Lemoncake
I always used to feel so fragmented and I believe it's trauma that causes this. I felt like I had 3 parts, which were very distinct. Two of which were children aged 4 and 7 and my current age. It was about identifying and giving space to allow each of them to talk. The youngest did nothing but cry because at that age I didn't really have words. Two years on I feel more whole. I actually feel each part less.
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Sorry to hijack this thread some, how do you feel about not feeling your parts as much. I am 3 yrs in and this last year, I've noticed that I don't feel each part as much. However, with that, I don't seem to feel the gifts each part held as well. Losing the good with what has felt like an integration of the the parts (or quieting of them) has left me very confused on if I'm truly integrating, if they are fragmenting themselves, or if I'm banishing them.
Fragmenting themselves - meaning that what I recognized as 3 distinct younger parts were more like committees and now each element of the committee is being able to be singled out (slowly).
Also, I've wondered if integration means losing some elements of the parts I like, do I really want integration. Sometimes/often I miss having the feeling of "we" as there's been more "I" in my thinking. Most the time I don't know who the "I" is, it just feels more singular even when there is conflicting thoughts/feelings/wants/needs.
Have you experienced anything like this? I'm not even sure I'm making sense.