Thank you Open Eyes for the poignant post! I have found that sharing our painful experiences can be empowering when shared with others "who knows it, feels it". Trouble is, most people continue to own a STYGMA about MI. I get triggered every single time someone tells me I can't live in the past or I just need to stop thinking depressive thoughts.

Like you, my PTSD presented later in life AFTER I found success as a professional. Somehow I managed to compartmentalize all the traumas I experienced from early childhood through adulthood. The tipping point for me was having a stalker from whom I could not escape. I had to quit my job and leave the state where I had lived for 22 yrs.

I've been fighting for my disability for 10 years now and I have been homeless for 23 months and 10 days. I did win a lawsuit I filed against the SSA for denying my disability because the judges ignored my medical evidence. US District Court ruled in my favor on April 10, 2017. Unfortunately, my case was remanded back to SSA and we're still waiting on a decision from the SSA Appeals Council. Because I filed a bias against mental illness complaint against the judge who was blatantly sarcastic and condescending to me in both federal hearings for the 2nd and last application I filed, my lawyer expects them to take longer to make a decision. The current backlog at the AC is almost 100,000 cases.

I am single and estranged from my birth family....who, like many in the small community where I was born, do not believe in mental illness. I hate being emotionally fragile and would not CHOOSE this illness. I have "had" an extraordinary life, but I haven't been living for years.

Thank you again for sharing. You just made a difference to one who thinks she'll never be able to ditch the shadow of overwhelming despair in this lifetime. Peace be with you this evening.