I'm so sorry, starryprince It sounds like you're dealing with a lot right now. Give yourself time. Things can get better. Just try to do your best, like you're already doing, and hopefully good things will come to you. If you're feeling lonely, remember that we're here for you. You're not alone in this. Feel free to PM me anytime. You can do this! Please don't give up. I hope this new year will be kind and gentle for you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you