My adult wants to distance from you from my horribleness.
My child part is horrified. My horribleness is a master in disguise and it hijacks me even when I am trying to be mindful. I am in complete chaos. Is this just me wanting attention or seeking intensity? I don't think so because otherwise I wouldn't feel so fragmented and afraid. Is this real? This is so devastating to me to figure out that this is a part of me. I can't get away from me. I don't know if I am delusional. I don't know what to do. I am so ****ing confused. I am such a disappointment to me. I do not know what to do.