I can certainly understand you feeling upset about not getting replies. I have been there on other sites, social media sites that is and when I post a comment or something that to me is important and I get no replies or thoughts from others, I get down. I always felt like I was not worth anything based on others lives. This may be what you are feeling inside some. Being positive and feeling like you have worth are two different things and believe me it can be destructive to the mind to think that they are the same. I can tell you that I still struggle with this. Most times I have to tell myself that I am worth a lot and as long as I feel worth something to myself then I am valuable. There are things that you can do that others cannot and there are things that others can do that you can't. Focus on the things that you can, only the things that you can. Find what your talents are and do those things. Share what you know and can do with those and let them share with you. You are not hopeless, you are not worthless, you are worth a lot, you are important. It is awesome that you are still motivated, because that is very hard to maintain and you are maintaining it. Writing a journal is good. I encourage you to continue in that. I have not been able to journal my thoughts so you have an outlet that I have not been able to do. I applaud you for your courage to post this.