Quote:
Originally Posted by pandabear0927
Awe  I pretty much find myself worrying about just about everything. I’ve always had an anxiety issue but only recently got genuinely diagnosed. If it’s possible, it’s even taken a toll on my memory. Ill be so caught up worrying about my next move, what i have to do in my day, etc etc that I have to double sometimes triple check basic tasks before i leave a room . Like “ did I lock that door? Did i take the garbage out? Did i turn out the light?” And even though i know i checked before i left the house, ill so much as get out of my car, go back inside and do my checklist all over, but I’m wondering if being scared of bad things happening makes it worse. I find myself asking “ what if” all day.... “ what if my car breaks down? I need water maybe some snacks and a travel bag?” “What if i get my clothes dirty at work? Guess i should have some back up” ...” what if my cat gets into the garbage while I’m away? Should i leave work a little early to check on him?” |
Yep. I have check marked off for myself each and every example. I would only add in there supersticious behaviour that I suppose is OCD. I find I do things the same way changing the routine if I have a spell of bad luck. Something happened that was difficult or negative? Then I scrutinise what may have been done differently - like putting on the wrong sock first or applying make-up in a different order. And it works the other way too if good luck happened to fall in my lap.
I understand your anxiety and fear of bad things happening. Add to that my panic that I will in turn humiliate myself. It has robbed me of enjoying the good things in my life.
And yes, there is a voice in my head (in my case the voice of my mother) that runs a constant commentary on the very questions you have indicated. Is this paranoia? Is this being delusional? I have never thought of it that way. I simply think it is behaviour that has been caused by childhood experience that has been reinforced by those undergone as we have continued to grow up.
I am really interested to see other people's take on this.
I've no answers to stop this. I hope someone here does.