For my relationship with my T, I pay her for her expertise, experience, and time, but I don't pay for her to care about me. She does that for free. I know she cares based upon things she has said and backed it up with action. It's hard trusting her sometimes because of past experiences, and other times I'm reminded that I am her job (i.e. no contact during maternity leave, no reduced fee even though I'm struggling financially). But the relationship is real, the caring is real.

One of the reasons you might be struggling with your relationship with your ex-T is because it wasn't a therapeutic relationship. You didn't get therapy from him. So it's no wonder why it would be confusing now. I'm sorry he did this. My guess is that the care was genuine, but for some reason, he didn't do his job.