Indeed, losing our loved ones can be extremely painful and it can take a long time to get over it. I understand and I don't think you should get over it! I also know that our beloved pets are like family to us.
However difficult it is, after a certain period our dear people or pets would be happy if we continued to live happy lives. I'm sure Ebony is watching you now and she is very sad that you continue to suffer for such a long time.
There are professionals who can help you with grief, especially because you suffer from hallucinations. I'm sure Ebony is very concerned about these and wishes you could get rid of them. You aren't helping her in any way by refusing therapy. She's perfectly happy now and has everything she needs. There's nothing more you can do for her by allowing your disease to control your life.