I'm so sorry, 123kim456 I think the best way to improve your self-esteem would be to seek help. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. You could learn ways to accept and love yourself. I believe there are also several books on the subject. Maybe you could look for one of them? Also remember that there's no such thing as objectively ugly. You are beautiful in your own way. Please don't give up. Things can get better, you just need to work on yourself and your own self-love! You can do this! Sending many hugs to you