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Open Eyes
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Open Eyes Not a Unicorn, just another horse
 
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Default Jan 14, 2019 at 03:02 PM
 
(((Nonosay)))), glad to know that you got to see a psychiatrist this morning. I honestly know the kind of cry you described doing and how it just came out like that. I experienced that myself. What it really means is it's really time for you to finally ask for help like you did, that you simply can't bottle this all up in you anymore.

I don't believe you are a bad person, a person who is a psychopath or sociopath doesn't have the capacity to regret and feel guilt like you are feeling. The truth is, these individuals don't feel remorse, they don't have the capacity to empathize either. The psychiatrist laughed because a true sociopath would never present to him with the kind of feelings and challenges you shared having with him. Actually, he should not have laughed, but instead he should have explained that to you, if not for any other reason than to give you a much needed sense of relief.

It's important to keep in mind that "most" psychiatrists are simply trained to look at symptoms a person presents and match them to a diagnosis they believe best suits that and then prescribe medication that can help with some of the symptoms the patient is struggling with. Psychologists and therapists are the one that are supposed to have the training to help people understand these challenges and help them understand why and then help them to slowly learn to understand their challenges and how to better help themselves and heal and grow as a person.

You have been a victim of bullying, you were shamed and treated badly by other children who did not know what they were doing, that what they were doing was wrong and hurtful. Inside you is a person who doesn't want to be that way, and you actually fear becoming that way. (A psychopath or sociopath doesn't experience that, they simply don't care and that part of their brain is actually underdeveloped where they don't experience what you have shared). Also, the fact that you are now horrified because you killed animals proves that you have the capacity to care and feel guilt and genuine concern. You have a desire to connect with others and even help them, sociopaths only look for what they can take for themselves and they just don't love either.
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