How does one become confident enough in doing something that they're actually able to enjoy it rather than being anxious the whole time?

Confidence is earned and cannot be taken. Confidence is something that is built over time and is.. merited, nope.. is measured, nope.. is exercised, maybe. If you feel like you are going to be ridiculed, you probably are. Be prepared for that and decide if that ridicule is based on fact or friction. Everyone needs perfection to some degree, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Your mind is made up then you will never regain what you’ve lost. Let it be and it will heal itself in time. I am sorry for your struggles