I saw T today after the weekend. Came in and sat down. As usual he asked me how it was going. I told him that I wasn't really sure, something about how I was done adulting today. He laughed at that and said that at least I was there at session and I agreed. I told him that a few weeks ago I talked about how I needed to make an appointment for my annual physical and that I had that appointment today. We talked about how the appointment went, that my doctor is testing me for rheumatoid arthritis because my mom has it. He said he didn't know I had issues with my hands and laughed again that I was cracking my knuckles. I told him that my doctor looked at the SH I had and knew that I had went in on Friday for SH. T asked how did my doctor know that I went in on Friday so I told him that I saw a partner of here so it was in my record. He asked if I went after my session on Friday and I said yes, but I'm not sure if T thought that I had SHed after our session or before (It was before but the appointment was afterwards but I didn't mention it to him that day.) After we talked about that, T asked me how I was feeling now that I was there and I told him that I was just on edge. He said he could tell because I seemed really tense. I said I wasn't sure whether or not to talk about something that happened because I didn't want to face the consequences. He commented something about of I'd still have to face the consequences even if I didn't talk about it. I said no, because then I could just hide away from it and ignore it. He encouraged me to talk about whatever it was that was going on.

Near the end of the session he asked me again how I was feeling and if there's anything I think I need from him. At first I said that I wasn't sure what I needed that would be helpful and he said even if I wasn't sure to tell him. I told him I already feel like I don't deserve to come to see him as much as I do and that I feel like I'm being a burden because all I do is talk about my H lately. He told me that some of his clients come once a week others come every day that he's there, that everyone has their way of doing therapy. He asked if I wanted to add another session, at least for this week. I told him that it's already hard enough with Hs work schedule but that he could write down a few times and I'd text him later if I wanted to. I did end up texting him tonight that I'm going to try my best to make it tomorrow at 4. So we shall see what tomorrow's session brings.