I'm so sorry, Skull&Crossbones I think there are deeper issues that you may want to work on before you work on this. For example, your doubts about your gender/sexuality, since you sound so insecure about it. I agree with the others that the best way to build confidence is with practice. I know it's easier said than done, but unfortunately there aren't a lot of alternatives. Do you see a therapist? Maybe that could help. Please don't give up, things can get better and I'm sure you'll be able to build some confidence at some point if you just try your best like you're already doing. You can do this! I know you're strong. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you