Hello shobo: Thanks for sharing this bit of yourself with us here on PC. I noticed this is your first post. So... welcome to Psych Central.

I'm afraid your situation is not one I can relate to as I am a pretty-much thoroughly reclusive person. I neither have nor seek friends. Hopefully, though, there will be other members who will be able to relate to your situation. In the meantime, here are links to 5 articles on the subject of adults with autism, from Psych Central's archives, including an autism test you can take:

Exploring Experiences of Adults With Self-Diagnosed Autism

Brains of Adults with Autism Adapt Differently in Implicit Learning

All About Asperger's Disorder

In-Depth: Asperger's Disorder

Autism / Asperger's Test - 2 Minute Test, Instant Results.

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.