I work again tonight. I wasted two days off panicking about going back in. I hate this. I hate what this job is doing to me. Through no fault of my own I screwed up on Sunday and the Wed previous to that I had a bit of a meltdown. All I can think about is that I will probably be taken aside and have a 'coaching conversation'.

But I am firm the problem isn't me. No, this is not passing the buck. Had there been some leadership present none of this would have happened. On Wed I was thrown under the bus being thrown to the wolves thrust into duties I had neither the training nor support to do so. As for Sunday, I was given mixed messages about the duties I was to perform and when to do them. I apparently listened to the wrong coworker and royally effed it up. Where was my leadership in all this? They ought to have taken charge of my training and ensured I had the training and resources to do these jobs. They ought to have made clear the expectations for Sunday's shift and so on.