So I went to T. I really don't like her but whatever. She wants me to journal which I'll start the mood/thought/event chart tonight. She wants me to take a walk or do sit ups any time I want to hurt myself. I’d be doing sit-ups all day. That’s kinda the point though isn’t it? I’m learning I complain about the boys to much and I really need to stop. She says I’m enabling but everyone has roles in a household, right? I didn’t tell her about how my depression feels. She asked if I wanted to hurt myself I could only shake my head yes and she asked if I needed the hospital I shook my head no and squeaked out “I wouldn’t do anything.” I would do anything to get rid of this pain. I know that’s a slippery slope. It sucks knowing a couple solutions but being unable to do them because they frowned upon. It’ll just make it look like I’m doing worse than I actually am. She made sure I have a Pdoc appointment. I don’t see the point in doing this anymore. I kinda just want to fade away anyway. Why can’t I just do that? Why is that wrong? She’s already frustrated with me and it’s the 3rd time I see her. I’m the best at introductions. (sarcasm).