Find or form a women’s or lgbt band or jam session. Tho I am purely heterosexual, much of male behavior repels me like them not being good communicators. You are able to discuss, really dissect yr issues. You mostly see women able to or bothering to do that on this site. I think u being different eg incomprehensible to them or feeling yr anxiety may make those guys uncomfortable. It’s just biology for them to be attracted to pretty women. Nature is always trying to trick us one way or the other.