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Old 01-17-2019, 05:38 PM
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Anonymous52222 has no updates. Edit
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Default Can't cope with my job anymore.

OK so I am a student at a community college and have a work study job that is really draining me both physically and emotionally.

I ended up joining community college in the first place all because I couldn't find a job anywhere. Nobody wanted me since I had such a large gap in my employment history (not being able to hold down a job for 4 years due to MI tends to do that) and I was desperate. I ended up getting the easiest possible job to apply for that I could and I've been with them for about a year now. The job is basically helping set up for college events, moving faculty member's furniture if they need something new or are moving offices, and helping with other misc jobs across campus as needed.

Anyways, this job has really been negatively affecting both my mental and physical health lately. It has been so stressful because we're understaffed like crazy since we can't get any more work studies because most students that need jobs would rather work a desk job and desk jobs pay the same. It's literally 3 people (2 full time guys and myself) handling the entire college campus. On top of it all, there has been more work for us to do. We had to move 2 entire departments across campus in the past week. We had to move a lawyer guy and his fancy expensive hard wood desks clear across campus and up 3 floors which took all day. We also have had to deal with a corrupt asshole of a school president that spends money on stupid crap instead of what the school actually needs and is rude a lot to us. He is so hated by our department that all everybody talks about (including my supervisor) is how much they can't stand them and how much they want to burn his tables and how much they want to hurt him and other stuff of that nature.

This job has been making me angry and depressed. I also have extreme pain in my feet now to the point that it hurts me just to walk. I have to walk to school/work since I don't drive which makes just getting around a living hell. I have flat feet, yet clearly my boots with custom fitted supports that I spent over $100 on aren't good enough. The pain is so much that there have been times that I just want to break down and cry in the bathroom. I've also been feeling so angry a lot that I have been prone to anger outbursts. This morning, I lost control and broke one of my chairs by slamming it in the ground all because I was hurting and had to walk to work to be there at 7:30am in 19 degree weather. I can't take it anymore. I am worried that I will eventually snap if this continues. Ironically though, I am a calm rational person that rarely gets angry when I don't have to go to my job. Amazing, right? lol

Also, the pay just isn't worth it. I barely make enough to cover my rent with this job and I am forced to depend completely on financial aid just to survive. I have also recently had to tap into student loans because I can't handle 4 classes due to my MI and since I dropped my courseload, I get less grant money.

IDK what to do anymore. I thought about getting another job. Only problem is my social skills suck and I am terrible at job interviews. I am not good with people but I have been making an effort to improve. Despite my best efforts though, it has taken me almost 2 years just to work up to where I can hold conversations with strangers in a low pressure environment. I lock up, stutter, and can't make eye contact when I am in a high pressure social situation. I have tried to get over my issues but I struggle. It would be cool to get a tech job since I am good with computers but I don't think I can, even if I get/renew my IT certifications.

I am better off selling on eBay at this point. Problem is I would need to keep this student job until I can make a decent enough income off eBay selling. I don't see myself holding out for any longer than 1-2 months before I snap and do something that ends me up in jail.

IDK anymore.
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