Quote:
Originally Posted by HopefullyLost1211
. I do value having female friendships but I've found it hard to find secure, confident women who aren't constantly comparing themselves to me. You can't have a friendship that way. You're either okay with yourself and with me or you're not.
Yes relational aggression refers to when females engage in trying to ruin another's reputation, trying to turn other women against one, back-stabbing etc. I was surrounded by it in single-sex schools growing up. It has actually been suggested by > 1 psychologist that women are just as aggressive as men; they just employ a different form of aggression.
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The women that I have remained close to and continue to maintain close bonds fit what you say about secure and confident-at least within the friendships(we all struggle with things in one way or another afterall) is true. We all have commonalities in our own life's experiences with the harshness of not only growing up but also in sharing the experiences in our own adult lives.
I never thought much to bring such a point into therapy itself, except perhaps some recent work events would qualify, as such, since I work in a women predominant field. And for whatever reason, I became a target as of late. Despite how terrible the aggression can be, I've at least had the life skills and job experience to reach a level of overcoming it.
I never thought to analyze it from a psychology standpoint, as to me, it's a Fact of Life.
I've known a couple of women who had also gone to all girls schools and described their own experiences. Had a mentor in college that had gone to an all women's college, we hit it off quite lovely. She was so real and in tune with things. Looking back, I value that experience fondly.