I find myself thinking about my former T when sexual problems or sexual satisfaction is described in like some column about sex or when sex is depicted in a romantic movie. I know itīs erotic transference and I still have it as part of my longing for her after she terminated me some months ago.
Although I know itīs transference I canīt really understand why I get back to those thoughts. I have never been abused nor engaged in any sexual obsessive acts. Iīve never had any sexual experiences with another person, maybe thatīs part of why I wonder about the sex life of my former T.
If something is told somewhere like in a book that "women over 50 still often have a sex drive and enjoy sex more than when she was younger" I immediately think about my therapist and if that corresponds to her. Or that "couples that have lived together for a long time might find sex less important" I think about if that could correspond to my therapist and her husband.
Some of it is just curiosity I think but probably there are also some other more deep-seated reasons to this. Itīs not that Iīm so preoccupied I canīt do or think about anything else but rather often I find myself think about this.
Why is this? Has anyone experienced anything similar?