Thank you for sharing this with us. This sounds like a very delicate situation and can be really scary! Kudos to you for reaching out for help!

Do either of you have a support group that you can reach out to and be able to meet up with in person? I have found 12-Step meetings very helpful for situations like these. When I would relapse, the information and support that they provided always seemed to be very worthwhile.

If he asked you not to tell anyone, then there's a big chance that he isn't talking about it to anyone else either. This is the worst. Shame and fear are always a part of a relapse. If these feelings aren't worked out, a slip up could turn into a long term relapse.

I don't mean to scare you in any way, I am just sharing my experience with you. I hope you find what you're looking for here and that both of you get the help that you need.