That sentence tells me you think having a dissociative disorder is the worst disorder a person could ever have. I think you would be surprised at the number of people that are high functioning that have DID. Sure they struggle but they know how to survive because afterall,that's how DID comes about in the first place,it's a way to survive,

It sounds like you have yourself all worked up over whether you have a dissociative disorder or not.If you do it's not going to change who you are as person just by knowing.Nothing will change from the way things are right now other than a label for what's going on with you,and getting the proper treatment.

Besides, being diagnosed with a dissociative disorder doesn't automatically mean it's DID or you have alters,there's other dissociative diisorders that you could have or you might not even have one at all. You could be remembering wrong that you were diagnosed with it,or it could be something else entirely.Or maybe even nothing at all.

I know Wednesday probably feels like it's fOrEvEr away but it's just a couple of days away.Maybe you could find something you enjoy doing to help pass the time until you
find out,something to keep your mind off of it a bit?Worrying and wondering isn't going to change whatever it's going to be,it's just going to have you a mess by the time you do find out.