Thanks, that's great feedback - I appreciate your taking the time.

[QUOTE=sarahsweets;6410060]What indicators did he give you that made you think he had a crush on you? Did he come right out and say anything? Did a friend of his tell you? I only ask because it seems like he made it clear he wanted friendship but you also mentioned running away. What was that like? Did he give you an explanation or just ghost you?

We did martial arts together and it was pretty obvious - staring, blushing, grinning, running over to greet me, getting physically aroused, stalking me quite a bit. But at the same time, he was very scared. It took a long time for him to even be able to talk to me in the beginning. Later, he managed some very awkward conversations. Also, on two occasions, when hugging, he held on to me exceptionally tightly with a lot of feeling but never brought that up. He said his greatest fear is rejection/abandonment. He would always ask me, "How do you know you can trust someone?"

When we had a breakthrough, he stopped running away and opened up to me. He said, "I trust you now. That kind of trust takes a very long time. You just have to give me time - that's all it takes. Nobody else has ever given me a chance, they have just given up." As for other girls - he said he doesn't have luck with them and has never had a girlfriend as he's just too scared of rejection. He said sometimes he likes girls but "it's just lust" and he doesn't act on it because it's not "significant".

I only thought of suggesting therapy because he brought it up first. He said he is well aware that he needs therapy but doesn't trust anyone enough to open up to them. He said he knows therapy will help him to get over his fears, but his fears are preventing him from going, therefore it's a vicious cycle. I would never recommend therapy to him 'out of the blue' - only if he brought it up again and asked my advice, which he does very often.

He said he is trying to work through his issues, triggers, fears, etc. and I have played a huge role in helping me and he is very grateful. He said he believes we can still be very good friends and he has a lot to learn from me. To me, it feels like he starts getting comfortable with me, lets his guard down, talks about possibly being more than a friend...then gets terrified and denies everything. Yet when he saw another guy flirting with me one day, he had a complete meltdown and literally couldn't talk to me. He was angry and upset for a week. That doesn't suggest friendship to me...

I am so glad you are in recovery! That's awesome. How's it going?