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Originally Posted by healingme4me
The push-pull dynamic can possibly be part of his learned dynamics  Certainly childhood wounds and trauma can affect adult relationships. I think it's difficult to categorise everything into neat little labels. I get the notion of wanting better understanding, though, in order to be involved. There's relationship dynamics that are creating distress, no doubt. Hopefully, he is open to the encouragement to seek support and improve his own skills as it pertains to your relationship with him. |
Thanks for the response! Yes, I think it's part of his relationship with his mom. She was a largely absent and uncaring mom, but at times has said she's really proud of him, etc. But she is not in recovery, is still drinking, and I think there's just so much childhood trauma around that, which he can't fully look at just yet. When we used to go out to talk, he would insist on going to a quiet park, away from people, and he would literally tremble and be unable to look at me when telling me about his past. It has taken years for him to open up to me. Years.
