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Originally Posted by MaggieRose
Thanks for the response! Yes, I think it's part of his relationship with his mom. She was a largely absent and uncaring mom, but at times has said she's really proud of him, etc. But she is not in recovery, is still drinking, and I think there's just so much childhood trauma around that, which he can't fully look at just yet. When we used to go out to talk, he would insist on going to a quiet park, away from people, and he would literally tremble and be unable to look at me when telling me about his past. It has taken years for him to open up to me. Years.
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If he's willing to explore therapy, I'd recommend a more holistic or generalized approach, if he's asking for your recommendations of course. Yes, he has a mom that drinks, at the same time the focus needs to be on himself and any types of behaviors that are troublesome to himself. The other *aha* moments will eventually fall into place.
I'm trying to think how to explain this. I, personally as an adult, returned back to therapy wanting to work on my anxiety types of reactions-catastrophizing, learning boundaries etc despite knowing that I was struggling with my marriage and also wanting to adjust things in my relationship with my mom. One skill built upon the other. Then I could step back and see where my reactions/feelings/emotiins etc were coming from.