I think you are sort of insisting on regressing to the blindness you were living in. I'm not going to retell you what I already posted, but suggest you re-read it.

I totally get that this divorce is as bad as a death, and probably worse. You are well-entitled to feel devastated.

However: You are not entitled to stay devastated forever, which is what you are setting yourself up to do. Friends and family are not going to enable you seeing your life as a permanent tragedy that you cannot recover from, eventually. If you don't recover, that will be on you.

I'm sorry, if you are not getting enough emotional support. You deserve and need that. But you have the option of rebuilding your life. If you don't, that will be on you.

I'm sorry your hopes and dreams were shattered. You really believed this man was someone who he is not. Now reality has come crashing down on you. I'm sure that's incredibly painful. The harder we believe in a fantasy, the more awful it is when that fantasy collapses.

It is your job to discover the difference between reality and fantasy. "But everything could have been so perfect, if only this man would have not betrayed me." Yeah - but he is who he is. He couldn't be who you wanted him to be. I'll take your word for it that he has been, deceptive and cruel and uncaring. Maybe he's really a jerk. He's probably not going to have a great life either.

Sometimes tragedy takes away a wonderful, loving, good husband. A heroic firefighter dies in a burning building, maybe after an arsonist lights a match. Usually, the widow goes on with her life. Usually, young widows remarry. They find a way to make life good again. It can be done.

Instead, you are saying that you should not have been disappointed so badly and you are not interested in having to start over. You are saying that "This should not have happened!"

It Is What It Is. There is no such thing as "what should be." There is what is.

I'm kind of like you. When I was young I was mad that people did so much that was wrong. My mother said: "Rose, life is as it is." I said: "That is what makes me mad!" My mother said: "Then you are going to go through life mad, and that will be too bad for you." That was the smartest thing anyone ever told me. I needed to be told that. I tend to be disappointed that life involves so much pain. As I get older, I am seeing more and more that happiness doesn't come easy to anyone. I do see how very hard most people have to struggle to make life decent for themselves. I see now that ordinary people have to put an awful lot of effort into making their lives work . . . making their jobs work . . . making their relationships work. I'm surprised so many people try as hard as they do - and just to get a modest amount of happiness. You will either take up that struggle, or you won't. It's up to you.

Instead of asking family and friends to feel bad for you, ask them to tell you about what hard things they had to deal with and how they managed to keep struggling.

When someone acts as shocked as you act over dealing with a huge disappointment, it makes me wonder if, maybe, you thought life wasn't supposed to be hard? Life is hard. It always has been. Accept that. Then do what you have to do to get where you want to go. Or you can wallow in misery, and your life will stay miserable. You are wallowing. Stop.