I'm sorry you are struggling with so much anxiety. You know... sometimes one just has to grit one's teeth & forge ahead. "Damn the torpedoes" as the saying goes. There's quotation I'm fond of... advice from her teacher to the Buddhist yogini Machig Labdrön (11th century, Tibet):

"Confess your hidden faults.
"Approach what you find repulsive.
"Help those you think you cannot help.
"Anything you are attached to, let it go.
"Go to places that scare you."

My advice is... go to places that scare you.