PTSD and the resulting incredibly rough Anxiety have consumed my life. They have destroyed my confidence and self worth.

I keep finding myself in situations made difficult by past experiences. I have been told to challenge the automatic negative thoughts and resulting negative behaviours. My problem? I just don't feel deserving and worthy of doing so. I don't feel I deserve goodness. Likewise I keep asking myself what had I done to deserve the traumas, attacks upon me, and the barrage of negative situations that were a constant in my life.

I had a meeting with my Veterans' Affairs case manager yesterday and she - rather annoyingly flippantly - told me that karma will eventually lead the transgressors in my life to get what was coming to them. But I pointed that if karma existed then I would have had to do something to deserve my own punishment.