I'm so sorry, Sò leigheas I know how things have been hard for you lately. Please don't give up. I'm here for you, my friend. If you ever need to talk or vent, contact me. I'll do whathever I can to listen and support you. I'm so sorry to see you like this, you're the last person in the world that deserves to feel like this. But I know you can do this. You've been through this already, and you've always been a winner. You ARE a winner. If you're feeling suicidal, please call an hotline or go to the hospital. Anything that can help you survive even for a short while. One step at the time. Stay safe and take care of yourself, my friend. I hope writing here helps a bit. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Sending many hugs to you