So i recently lost my mom we lived in different states she was beating cancer and all of sudden got sick because she only had one kidney. She always said that having one kidney would kill her and it did. So I got the call to come see her caught the next flight out , my brother had her intubated so i could be there before she passed. As i walked in to the room i said hi mom im here and she tried to open her eyes to see me. The next day we took her off the machine and she died. i have always distanced myself from death i know it exists just dont want to think about it. I cry every day , i miss her so much , i called her every day now i have no one to talk to about certain things or just to chit chat, i feel my husband doesnt understand me or what im going thru.
I keep trying to find signs that she is around me but i truly think its bull ****. My mom told me she couldnt feel anything when her mom passed, and you know she was right. Im not religious. but i dont think that doesnt make me not feel her, i think you die your gone , you dont get a second chance to say i love you it sucks, it hurts, its frustrating, its lonely, its sad, its not getting better.