Hello Azzurrella. I am so sorry you are going through such pain. I am divorced myself...it is a unique and bizarre trauma to have been fully partnered with someone and then go through the process of uncoupling and rebuilding a new life without your former partner.

I'm now many years out from my divorce and things did get better. I slowly built a new life. It's a slow and gradual process. It's also not linear...there isn't a clear starting point with a steady upward trend from A to B. For a while, it can feel like a roller coaster of emotions...up, down, and all around. It will not always feel that way...you're likely still in shock at this point. You need time to grieve and a support network. If you don't have a close network of non-judgmental family or friends, a professional therapist could really help. Someone experienced in post-divorce therapy.

Remember that there are no 'wrong' feelings. It's okay to feel however you feel...angry, sad, scared, confused, betrayed. The key is to develop coping mechanisms...while you grieve the loss, learn why the marriage did not work out, explore who you are now without your former partner, develop new goals for yourself.

I truly believe that it is possible for something good and even beautiful to grow out of intense pain. That probably sounds bizarre to you now and that's okay but I've seen it happen in my own life. I hope that at some point later on your own Life path, you will look back and smile and thank yourself and say: "I DID IT! I SURVIVED! I HAVE BUILT A NEW LIFE!" You can't put a timeline on it (trust me I wanted that too!) because nobody can predict the future...whether it's a person recovering from divorce or not. In time you'll learn to trust yourself...to trust your future.

Don't be so hard on yourself Azzurrella. Of course you wish people understood and offered compassion...you just lost your life partner...that's a huge trauma. But humans often don't understand things they have never experienced. Or even 10 folks who've all been through divorce...those are ten unique experiences of 10 individuals. Each one cannot actually know how it feels for the others. When I was going through my divorce, a single friend of mine told me: "I know exactly what you're going through, I lived with a boyfriend for two years and we broke up." When she said that I was SO angry though I kept it to myself. I thought: how could she possibly know what I'm going through...comparing a two year boyfriend to my marriage of more than a decade?!" And that's how I felt that day and that's okay. And now, looking back, I think she was probably just trying to be kind but didn't choose helpful words

We can heal from trauma...slowly, with time, and professional support. Peace and healing energy to you. Hope starts today. Tell yourself that even when you don't believe it. Hope starts today