I do feel for you as our Ts are very similar esp with the whole email saga but she will, or has to date, responded if I ask are you there kinda of thing.

Your Ts belief as to toleration is a bit like the old NHS bind, unless you actually succeed when you try and kill yourself, it would be because you weren't serious, ill enough, were just being manipulative etc etc etc so you don't actually need any services! Sending strengthing vibes.