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here today
Grand Magnate
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Member Since: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 3,515
10 yr Member
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Default Jan 24, 2019 at 10:26 AM
 
Thanks for writing and posting this. I understand love of, or attachment to, family. It's something that I think that therapists and psychotherapy theory generally does not fully appreciate the value of.

This seems to me very important

Quote:
We may have our many differences but they are still my family and although we all tend to disagree with one another, at the end of the day we realize that we are different from one another and that’s alright. We may not understand but we do accept.
I loved and/or felt attached to (wanted belonging with) my family of origin. We did NOT have a way of accepting differences very well, though. At least as far as I could understand it. And eventually it fell apart.

I got an eating disorder when I was 15 and had been in therapy on and off for most of my adult life until a few years ago, when I gave up. 9 years ago I was diagnosed with Personality Disorder Not Otherwise Specified but I think, before I fell apart 20 years ago, I would have qualified for Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder if they had been diagnosing personality disorders back then, which they weren't. I've been pretty obsessive about researching personality disorders and other psychology stuff, until recently, again.

I think my late husband likely had Schizoid Personality Disorder. The two of us got along great, though, and functioned pretty normally.

Unfortunately, though, when my late husband passed away I was not able to make another life for myself. I did not really have much life except with him. And the 2 kids who had mostly grown up and moved away. And I didn't know, couldn't develop the knowledge of, how to do that since I had adapted earlier in my life my "doing the right thing" or following the rules, even when doing the right thing seemed to be breaking the rules, or something. Doesn't make much sense now, but it was what I had at the time.

So, if you can, it might be worthwhile to see if you can get out socially a little bit more, to find some people with similar interests outside your family. That's how my late husband did it. He liked amateur radio and went to some of those events and communicated with others about that. Because -- even though your family members are there for you and have always been there for you, a time may come when some pass away and it will be very different.

Nevertheless, the good times and acceptance that you all have is a really good thing, it seems to me. Best of luck to you.
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