I’ve had a hard education, never possible to do mistakes: good daughter, good student, good friend, good wife, good professionist. But it was never enough, for anyone.
I don’t know where to put my head. I’m a stone when I show my “public profile”, so strong people feel unable to give me a word. But in my inside I’m broken. Am I going mad? The worst is passed: to change home, habits, job. Taking all my things and going away from my former home. Leaving my former job and managing the natural diffidence of new colleagues, gaining their respect. It has been hard to manage the lawyers, his devil one and mine, who took so much money from me, struggling for things and money...while my inner life and my family was vanishing: what was important? To have money or love??
It was painful to manage the betrayal, to see friends go away, not really friends. You discover a lot about people around you.
I really don’t know where to put my head.
Probably I’m simply stupid. It seems I like to continue swimming in my pains.