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Soccer mom
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Member Since: Jun 2014
Location: United States
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Default Jan 25, 2019 at 10:51 PM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahSweden View Post
I find myself thinking about my former T when sexual problems or sexual satisfaction is described in like some column about sex or when sex is depicted in a romantic movie. I know itīs erotic transference and I still have it as part of my longing for her after she terminated me some months ago.

Although I know itīs transference I canīt really understand why I get back to those thoughts. I have never been abused nor engaged in any sexual obsessive acts. Iīve never had any sexual experiences with another person, maybe thatīs part of why I wonder about the sex life of my former T.


If something is told somewhere like in a book that "women over 50 still often have a sex drive and enjoy sex more than when she was younger" I immediately think about my therapist and if that corresponds to her. Or that "couples that have lived together for a long time might find sex less important" I think about if that could correspond to my therapist and her husband.

Some of it is just curiosity I think but probably there are also some other more deep-seated reasons to this. Itīs not that Iīm so preoccupied I canīt do or think about anything else but rather often I find myself think about this.


Why is this? Has anyone experienced anything similar?

I can't believe this - I got on here after months of not posting to post almost this exact thing! I do the exact same thing. I have MET with my current T and she knows. I haven't been able to tell her that I imagine her having sex especially when I am but never with her. I'm not attracted to her but I wonder how she is with her husband. I also did this with my ex-T but I don't do it with any other women. There's got to be a reason but I can't admit this to her. I've wondered if it's my mind imagining how she is when she's being loved or how she is when she loves?

Outside of therapy I wonder about males. I am married with kids so I've always preferred men. I just don't understand why I do this. I agree there's also the curiousity but I must be wondering for a reason.

I"m so tired of wondering, I'm about at the point to tell her but I'm afraid it will be awkward for her (and definitely me).
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Thanks for this!
SarahSweden