Thanks for the response!

That's really reassuring to hear that you didn't jump into AT training until you were a bit more stable, but wow... you were able to do that after 4 months? That's pretty incredible!

I'm a little freaked out tonight. I let my guy know about the bad reaction, and asked if it was OK to just go back to 12-15 @C4 (since between the two, that was better - I actually had some positive effects, just felt nauseas).

He wants me to try the lower frequency at CZ. I told him I was nervous, given how awful my reaction was, but he said that CZ runs a bit slower than C4 and is "gentler" so it's worth a try.

And now I'm full of anxiety. And it's late here, so I'm not going to do it tonight... will try tomorrow after work, I guess.

Oh, and he said he was surprised by how bad my reaction was to the lowered reward, that that's not normal (he wasn't sure if it was actually from the NF, but I explained how bad it felt right after). I feel like I'm always an outlier/weirdo!

I'm not sure that my talk T is going to be much help. I saw her today, and she was excited to hear about the NF (my first session since starting) - but the conversation was really hard, and I'm not sure why. Like, she's not doing a good job of reading me or helping with regulation, so I got overly revved up, and left with a headache. I think I was louder/faster too... I left feeling like the conversation was more of a tug-of-war!

Anyway, no need to rush to respond, I don't want to bug you! But I appreciate having someone to share this with... and please keep your fingers crossed for me with the CZ training. My anxiety is now through the roof with it !